Yes I smell emotions. I see colors when I hear music.
The first time I heard the word synesthesia I was doing research for a paper in bio-psychology. There it was, right on the computer screen. I didn’t even know how to pronounce synesthesia but the definition described me perfectly. I sat for hours, gobbling up all the information I could find with ravenous hunger. Synesthesia is a neurological phenomenon where the stimulation of one sensory pathway is involuntarily experienced in another cognitive pathway. 
Synesthesia is a condition where a sensation in one of the senses, such as hearing, triggers a sensation in another, such as taste. Until the age of technology, this was commonly recognized in artists and musicians. Rhapsody in Blue was written by a musician with synesthesia. In that moment i discovered there wasn’t anything wrong with me; I just wasn’t wired in “the traditional” way.
Discovering this was like having my name pronounced correctly for the first time ever. I remember writing an email to my closest ones. I told them I had discovered I am not weird; my brain is just wired differently. I cried for days after that.
Synesthesia comes in many forms. The most common form is when people “see” (and relate) a certain color to a number or letter. Many people have this common form, although they may have ignored it, or repressed it, or forgotten.
My forms of synesthesia are varied.
Me, I “see” colors with music so I play the colors. Is it any wonder that I love the deep organic browns of the didgeridoo? And to smell that amazing vibration of the drone. Oh my! And then there is the ancient vibrant blue hues of my deep Cm Native style flute. This flute was handmade for me from an old grove Redwood fencepost … this is my prayer flute that I use for ceremony. She is amazing.
And I will tell you also that certain sounds hurt my eyes. The very shrill high brass is a shrieking pink. Ouch! Some high sounds are this pulsing orange that is piercing to see. The only problem is I can’t close my eyes to make it go away.
I also smell stuff…when I walk into a room where there is deep joy, the kind that comes alongside miracles and grace; I smell the most amazing fragrances of flowers. And when there is a lot of “legalistic rules”, you know, the ones that people like to add so they can micro-manage/control a situation for their own good…well this is where I get cotton-mouth, big time. And I begin to feel like I am suffocating. I smell strong emotions. Sometimes it is wonderful.
(c) Diane Mathias. All rights reserved.
