Graphophobia No More: How I Overcame My Fear of Writing

Graphophobia is the fear of writing.

I suffered from graphophobia; I worked hard to overcome my own fear of writing.  Because of this I am able to understand how this fear works and effectively help others.  Hearing me talk about this may surprise you.  I am an author, a seasoned writing teacher and a public speaker.  I have taught writing for over 35 years and one of my super powers is to heal the wounded writer.   I am very good at compassionately helping others overcome their fear of writing  because I first had to learn how to heal my own wounds.

You may have had traumatic experience(s) at an early age, or a predisposition might have ushered the fear of writing into your life.

I have always loved words and books.  Back before the term “highly sensitive person” was uttered or understood, I was one who grew up constantly hearing how I was too sensitive and too honest.  My writing reflected these traits and yes, I did perceive life a bit differently.

Rigid teachers told me that my writing was “not normal.”  My words wanted to dance and sing; yet I was sternly instructed how writing should be caged, tamed and very controlled.

I received many mixed messages:

I was told my work made people venerable and this was a bad thing. If my writing was shared, my classmates made fun in order to hide their own responses.

Several writing professors told me I was a powerful writer and then sought to seduce me.

I was in love with poetry, the sound of these words were rain upon my parched spirit.   I would close my eyes and often tears would sneak out, much to my embarrassment.

My words were readily present but spelling was not my strong suit.  I was often chided, years before spell check was invented.  I had a relative who would always send back letters I to had written to her.  She circled my mistakes in red pen.  As a young person, I lived in embarrassment and shame.

And I didn’t understand why classmates would be jealous…wasn’t winning a writing contest a joyful occasion?

These mixed messages were extremely difficult for me to understand and separate out.   At one point in my life I hid my poetry under my mattress.   And then I tried to stop writing completely.  Fortunately the muse would not let me go…

The symptoms of graphophobia will vary by person and this may depend on their level of fear.  For some, the fear of writing may include anxiety and other behavior associated with panic.  Some may experience shaking, dry mouth, sweating, increase in heartbeat, an inability to articulate words, elevated heartbeat, etc.  This may vary from person to person.
Often students will say to me, “I’m not a writer.”  These are my favorite students because I know they have wonders locked inside.

Does the fear of writing keep you from writing?

I used specific steps in my own life to overcome my graphophobia.  I know what works:

• I wrote on 3 x 5 cards for a long time because a whole blank sheet of paper was too daunting
• I began to journal and assured myself that no one else was going to read my journal, only me.
• I wrote and assured myself that this work was my  “practice writing”…  this writing didn’t really count.   No one was allowed to read this. This greatly relieved the angst and fear; there was no “performance pressure” at all.
• I allowed myself the freedom of not being perfect.  I practiced letting go of my fear of bad spelling.  I began to trust that I could have someone correct the spelling later on if I wanted.  And I would only choose people who would not make fun of me.   I began to understand how the shame of being labeled a “bad speller” was placed upon my shoulders at a young age.  Shame can go very deep.

I did not write in public places for a long time.  My face would redden and I always felt like I had to watch over my shoulder and hide my work.  The comparing critics were constantly chattering. Eventually I wrote a book about these inner voices that plague writers.   This book is called, I’m Tired of Trying to Paint Like Sally Waterman.

I began to pursue, understand and learn about the inner demons that keep writers, others, and myself from writing.  I used the practices I had developed for myself in the classes I now offered for others.  I always create a safe and non-judgmental space. My writing classes are not a place to critique, slam or fix others.  I am very clear with this, and no super hero caped egoists are permitted to belittle or show off.  We are all in this together.

My goal is to empower writers and allow them to understand the healing process from the inside out.  This experiential experience has brought delight and surprise to those who used to say, “I am not a writer.”  The personal testimony from these students is my greatest reward.

And it works.

What is it that makes a difference?

Understanding.  Empathy.  Encouragement.  Holding a space for those who want to write but are too afraid.  When given wings, the creativity and authentic writers’ voice comes forth in a vibrant manner.

My classes produce writing and healing.  That is how writing seems to work; sometimes we start with 5 little words…

DISCLAIMER: I am not a doctor and all content found on this site is provided for informational purposes only. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition